I write everyday and therefore when I’m not writing I’m usually talking about what I wrote. My husband listens with interest. Although I know he must be getting sick of hearing about all things writing. Lately I’ve made a conscious effort to discuss other topics because I finally realized that it must get tiresome for him.
Recently, he took up ice fishing with our two neighbors. The three men sit in a Bob house, huddled together over the heater, waiting for the tip-up to move. For those of you who don’t know what a tip-up is, from what I gather it’s a wooden stick that has half going across the hole which is attached to a fishing line in the water, and the other piece has a flag attached to the end. That’s a crude description but I’ve never seen one so it’s difficult to describe. Plus it’s early and I didn’t sleep well, but that’s besides the point. Anyway, when the fish bites the hook the flag waves crazily, alerting the fishermen to the fish. He also uses cusk lines, which are wooden crosses that lay flat over the hole. A line with bait is submerged in the water and you have to check them periodically to see if you’ve caught anything. A cusk line can stay in the water for a twenty-four hour period. There are many other strict rules that go along with cusk fishing. For instance, if you catch anything else on that line you must free it, don’t ask me why.
I’ve learned all of this because now ice fishing is all HE wants to discuss. I listen intently as though I’m interested, which I’m not. But seeing the excitement on his face warms my heart. And that’s what you do in marriage. Especially if you’ve been married for a long time, which we have, it is very important to support your partner’s interests. And even when the subject bores you to near tears, slap a smile on your face and pretend you want to hear more. I promise you, the payoff is huge. Both parties are happy and feel supported.
I’m writing on the subject of marriage today because, as writers, we often are so passionate about our craft that we tend to forget that our spouses, or partners, are not. Yes, they support us and are our best cheerleaders. But when you take the time and put yourselves in their shoes the reality comes clear. Not everyone in your life wants to hear about your awesome day of writing or how you explained Joe and Mary’s turbulent relationship. Discuss it sparingly and take their feelings into consideration. A funny thing happens when you do… they end up asking YOU what happened in your story today! And you just might learn something new by discussing different topics.
Have a wonderful day, friends. And happy writing!